Wow it's been a long time since I've posted... Too long...
Christmas break was great! We had a blast back in MT with the whole family. It was great to see everyone again, and I remember why Montana will always be home for us! I rode the snowmobile for a while, when snowboarding, and generally did all the things in the cold my chemo nurses told me to watch out for. Screw cancer and screw chemo - I did it! Tim took some good videos of us snowboarding and I'm going to try to get them posted later tonight. I also had a mini class reunion. I had half my graduating class in town - all 6 of us! It was great to see them all again and get caught up on the past few years.
We had a classic "welcome back to DC" moment on the way home from the airport. Traffic was backed up on I95 heading into DC and we were on the on-ramp from the airport freeway. I was waiting my turn to merge into traffic, going about .2 MPH, when a NUN cut me off. That's right, a NUN wouldn't let me merge into traffic. Merry freakin Christmas indeed! Jen and I were rolling.
The next day was another round of FOLFOX and a visit with our oncologist. We met with him early in the day, which meant that I could actually have a conversation with him as opposed to being strung out on benadryl and zyrtec. We probably asked too many questions, since we got back some answers that weren't real great. He reminded us that odds are I won't live to see 70, and that this cancer will likely kill me at some point. That was pretty tough to hear again, especially since I am feeling so great. I have to remember that he doesn't know what God has in store for me - only God knows when my time is up. I also have to keep reminding myself that I'm not a statistic - that God has healed me. Aside from that downer news, the doctor is very happy with how well I'm handling the chemo. He assured us that I really am getting a solid dose of chemo even though I'm still able to function well.
It's always frustrating to walk into a FOLFOX treatment feeling great and then walk out feeling like crap. I'm just glad that I had some time off work to recuperate, although I'm pretty sure that I drove Jen nuts by being a crank for most of the week. We had a great time New Year's Eve with some of our MT friends out here. It was a nice low-key night with lots of Wii and board games, making it a good distraction from how crappy I felt from the chemo.
I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. It was rough going back to work yesterday after 2 weeks off. Today was better - I'm starting to remember what I was working on before Christmas.
The big challenge this week is staying cool ahead of my CAT scan on Friday. I have a real wide range of emotions looking ahead to it, and it's hard to keep an even keel. I know that the results will be good, but I'm amplifying my reaction to every stitch in my side or cough. Keep the prayers coming for our sanity over the next few days!
Thanks again for all your prayers, comments, and support!
4 comments:
Kurt, you may have seen it, but if not, there's a new book out by Randy Pausch, a computer science professor who like a lot of professors (and others) was asked to give a speech on wisdom to be left behind. When Pausch was asked to make a similar speach, he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. You may have seen the book or information, but here is a quote that I saw that came from his speach -
"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
I am so proud of the commitment that you (and Jen) have made to a lifestyle that will make a difference in fighting this cancer. This commitment has made a difference as evidenced by your test results and strength. Remember that your positive attitude(s) are essential.
Sorry to be so sappy - but you need to know how much we love you and support you. Stay positive with your thoughts on these upcoming tests.
Love you - Robin.
Kurt-
I say to hell with statistics. The statistics only catch you if you let them. The attitude and determination I've seen in both you and Jen, in the short amount of time I've spent with both of you, is absolutely remarkable. It's attitude, determination, and from what Kyla has told me, your stubbornness that I admire about you the most. Don't EVER let anyone tell you that you can't do something.
On the lighter side, you'll need to let me know when you're ready to play Wii Mario Kart. I've been asking Kyla almost daily if she heard whether you got your Wii hooked up or not. The only bad part is I won't be able to hear you cuss as I beat you across the finish line.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you, and best of luck to you on Friday. ----- Tim U.
We are thinking about you guys and sending our good thoughts and prayers to you this week. Stay strong. Hugs to you both and your family during this tough time. - Heather and Mike
Kurt forever you have found a way to win. You now are fighting a battle using tools found deep within you and around you. Keep your faith and hope alive as that will keep you strong. In Vickie Girard's "Hope" book she says not only do cancer patients need success stories,doctors and nurses do as well. Prayers and love flowing to you constantly.
Love,
Dad
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